MAX’S CHECKLIST FOR CHOOSING A KITTEN
September 5, 2026
Let’s be honest.
When you’re choosing a kitten, the first thing that happens is usually this:
You see a tiny ball of fluff.
It looks at you.
You look at it.
Done. That’s your cat.
No more questions. 😂
But if you’re looking for a kitten that’s likely to grow into a confident, friendly and sociable cat, there’s actually quite a lot worth thinking about before you fall completely under the spell of those enormous eyes.
Because some cats are naturally confident and happy to meet anyone.
Others hear the doorbell and immediately become one with the furniture.
So why?
There isn’t one simple answer. Every cat has its own personality, and genetics play a part too.
But what happens during the first weeks of a kitten’s life can make a huge difference to how comfortable they become around people.
So, if you’re thinking about getting a kitten, here is Max’s little checklist.
This would be my first question.
Don’t just look at the kitten.
Look at the world the kitten has been growing up in.
Has it been living in a normal home where people are around?
Has it heard the TV, the vacuum cleaner, doors opening, visitors arriving and all the other weird noises that apparently make up human life?
Has it been gently handled by different people?
Has it had positive experiences with other animals?
These things matter because kittens have an important socialisation period when they are very young — roughly from two to seven or eight weeks old.
During this time, positive experiences can help teach them that people, sounds and everyday situations aren’t things to panic about.
And that’s really what socialisation is about.
It’s not about making a kitten love absolutely everyone.
It’s about giving them lots of reasons not to be scared of the world.
If you’re getting a kitten from a breeder or private seller, I’d always want to see the kitten with its mum.
And don’t just look at the kittens.
Look at Mum.
Is she healthy?
Does she seem comfortable around people?
Is she friendly or very nervous?
A kitten doesn’t get its whole personality from its mother — genetics and early experiences both play a role — but Mum’s temperament and the environment she provides are certainly worth paying attention to.
Cats Protection recommends seeing kittens with their mother and littermates and asking questions about how they’ve been raised. (cats.org.uk)
And here’s something I would take seriously:
If someone doesn’t want you to see where the kittens were raised or meet their mother…
I’d be asking why.
And if they tell you:
“You need to decide today because someone else wants this kitten!”
I’d say:
Take your time.
A kitten isn’t a pair of trainers.
You don’t need to buy one because someone is putting pressure on you.
Of course you want a friendly kitten.
But instead of simply asking:
“Is this kitten friendly?”
ask:
“What has this kitten experienced?”
Has it met different people?
Men? Women? Children?
Has it experienced normal household sounds?
Has it been gently picked up and handled?
Has it had positive experiences with other animals?
These questions tell you much more.
Good socialisation should be gentle, gradual and positive.
If a kitten gets frightened, the answer isn’t to hold it tighter until it magically decides:
“Actually, humans are great!”
Let it retreat.
Give it space.
Try again later.
The whole point is to help the kitten feel safe.
Socialising a kitten isn’t about making them tolerate everything. It’s about helping them feel confident.
There’s a difference.
I know.
I’m asking for the impossible.
There are five kittens in front of you.
One has enormous eyes.
One is climbing on your leg.
One has fallen asleep in the food bowl.
One is attacking its brother for absolutely no reason.
And you’re supposed to calmly analyse their personalities?
Good luck. 😂
But seriously, try to spend a little time watching them before making your decision.
Is the kitten curious?
Does it investigate what’s happening?
Does it interact with its brothers and sisters?
How does it react when someone approaches?
Does it seem relaxed, or constantly frightened?
Cats Protection recommends looking for kittens that appear bright, engaged and sociable, while also remembering that a shy kitten isn’t necessarily a bad kitten. Some simply need a quieter home and more time to build confidence. (cats.org.uk)
And remember:
There is no such thing as a perfect kitten.
The best kitten is the one whose personality fits your home.
This is where Daisy comes into the story.
My cat Daisy had four kittens.
And I got to watch them grow up in our home, surrounded by people and all the normal chaos of a loving household.
They weren’t living somewhere where humans appeared for five minutes, put food down and disappeared again.
People were simply part of their world.
They got used to human voices, human movement, being around people and all the strange little things that happen in a home.
And, of course, they all developed their own personalities.
One of them was called Ivan.
Ivan eventually went to live with a friend of mine who lives nearby.
And honestly?
Ivan is ridiculously friendly.
He’s incredibly social and comfortable around people.
He’ll happily interact with people and doesn’t seem to have received the memo that cats are supposed to pretend they don’t care about you.
Now, obviously, I can’t say that Daisy’s kittens prove that every kitten raised in a loving home will automatically become a super-friendly cat.
That’s not how cats work.
Every cat is different.
But watching Daisy raise those four kittens made something very clear to me:
The environment a kitten grows up in really matters.
And that’s why, if you’re choosing a kitten, I’d pay attention to the home, the mother and the experiences the kitten has had — not just how cute they are.
Because let’s face it…
they’re all ridiculously cute.
This one is a little more complicated.
A kitten that has grown up mostly outdoors, with very little positive contact with people, may be much more comfortable around other cats than around humans.
That doesn’t mean the kitten is “bad”.
It simply means that humans may be unfamiliar and frightening.
Think about it from the kitten’s point of view.
If you’ve spent your first weeks surrounded by cats and suddenly a giant two-legged creature reaches towards you…
You might think:
“Absolutely not. Goodbye.”
A kitten that has spent its early weeks hiding from people doesn’t have the same starting point as one that has been gently handled and positively introduced to humans.
Again, this is why early socialisation matters.
Cats don’t automatically have an inbuilt need to be around people. Their comfort with humans is influenced by what they experience when they’re young.
So if you want a cat that is likely to enjoy human company, find out how much positive human contact it has actually had.
That’s much more important than whether the kitten comes from a fancy house, a farm or a breeder.
Now we’re getting to a fun question.
One kitten or two?
There isn’t one answer that works for everyone.
But if you’re thinking about getting two, I’d seriously consider a pair of siblings.
Kittens can benefit from growing up together. They can play, chase each other, learn from each other and have a familiar companion while they’re settling into their new home.
And let’s be honest:
Sometimes a kitten has approximately three million times more energy than you do.
Having another kitten around can give them someone to play with when you’re busy.
Cats Protection also recommends considering a sibling pair where possible if you’re choosing two kittens.
But there’s an important bit people sometimes forget:
Two kittens still need two sets of resources.
Food and water bowls, beds, litter trays, hiding places and enough space to get away from each other when they want some peace.
And don’t assume that siblings will necessarily remain inseparable forever. Cats can change as they mature.
So yes — two kittens can be fantastic.
But think about your home, your time and your budget before deciding.
Don’t choose a kitten just because it’s cute.
I know.
I’m asking you to resist one of the most powerful forces in nature.
But you’re not buying a teddy bear.
You’re welcoming a little predator with opinions into your home for many years.
So before you choose, ask yourself:
Where did this kitten grow up?
Has it had positive experiences with people?
Can I meet its mother?
Does the mother seem healthy and comfortable around people?
What is the kitten’s environment like?
Has the kitten been gently handled and exposed to normal household life?
Does its personality seem like a good fit for my home?
If I’m getting two, would a sibling pair work better?
And perhaps most importantly:
Because you can’t completely choose a cat’s personality.
But you can give them the right environment to develop it.
And that’s the beautiful thing about cats.
You don’t manufacture a friendship with them.
You build it.
Slowly.
With food.
With play.
With patience.
With respect.
And eventually, if you’ve done everything right…
They might decide that you’re alright after all.
Which, coming from a cat, is basically a five-star review. ⭐🐱
If you’re thinking about getting a kitten and you’re not sure what to look for, don’t be afraid to ask questions and take your time.
A responsible breeder or seller should be happy to show you where the kittens have been raised, let you meet their mother and talk openly about their health, socialisation and history. And if something doesn’t feel right…
Walk away.
There will always be another kitten.
The important thing is finding the right one — and giving them the best possible start.